


Deserving

by Meenah_Peixes



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Healing, Infantilism, Multi, Slice of Life, chara is the little girl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-26 00:47:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16209182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meenah_Peixes/pseuds/Meenah_Peixes
Summary: Being given a second chance only happened to the people who were worthy. Those who lived good lives and were rewarded for it. What happens when someone thoroughly undeserving gets a second chance?Chara comes back to life and suffers the after effects of life coming back into a dead body. Her family accommodates but in a bizarre way. Will Chara be able to survive the love and affection she’s on the receiving end of?





	1. Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this on my phone. Let me know what you think of it in the comments. Thanks!

The stillness of death was interrupted by a feeling of suffocation. Instinctively kicking and screaming, my body found purchase the dark of death denied my subconscious. Light poured down from above and the taste of dirt and soil filled my mouth as I took a sharp breath. I flailed in fear as I rose from my pit, sure that I had found hell. 

A cool breeze and a familiar aroma met me as I finished coughing up my apparent shallow grave. My eyes came into focus after some time, giving me an all too familiar sight. I felt my face morph into a look of horror as I realized what had happened. 

I had come back. I had been given, by some mockery of God, another chance. Not the man who died too young, nor the soldier fallen in combat, but me. Manipulator. Sinner. Murderer.

I tried to get to my feet, finding myself unable and eventually forcing myself to at least crawl towards the ruins. Towards home. Through the tedium and pain I noticed the flowers were well kept and shining brilliant golden in the surface sunlight, signifying SOMEONE being nearby. It took much time. Much pain and a lot of tears and vomit before I finally made my way towards my old home. I briefly wondered if they, my one time family, would welcome me. At the very least they’d help me get on my feet before sending me off. I felt my eyes water again when the smell of all-too-familiar butterscotch pie invaded my nostrils. I managed to rap my dirt stained knuckles across the door one, two, three... 

The last thing I sensed before darkness overtook me was the door opening, a familiar cry of shock, and then the world turned black.


	2. Hospitality

In my dream, I was floating in a sea of blackness. Thick liquid kept me buoyant on the surface while a still, pale sky stretched across my vision. There was a lingering feeling of anxiety while the pounding of my heart thrummed in my eardrums. Those two things were the only stimulants to my senses, everything else was filled with a profound numbness. I suddenly was yanked under the waveless sea, the blackness filling my voiceless scream.

I lurched up with a muffled gasp, hearing the twang of a spring bed. My vision was blurry from oversleep and I had a dull pain in my head. A mechanical beeping revealed that I was hooked up to an EKG. A hospital. Of course. I blinked, my eyes widening as I realized what I was looking at. 

A *human* hospital.

Monsters, while technologically advanced, didn’t use EKG’s as their bodies pumped magic, not blood. A heart didn’t exist to a monster in the literal sense. Thus, why was I in a human hospital? I felt confusion and a need for knowledge. I had no idea what was going on. Without thinking it through, I spammed the nurse call button next to my bed, suddenly weary. I sank back into my bedsheets, breathing heavily as I willed the nurse to arrive quicker.

It was a moment or two before a sweaty, mid 20’s Doctor exploded through the door with a trail of a couple nurses behind her. They quickly went to work reading the EKG and the associated medical equipment while the doctor smiled patiently.  
“I’m very sorry we didn’t have someone standing by. It was an oversight by the staff here and you have my apologies. I’m sure you must be very confused.” She started, clicking her tongue as she read the results passed to her from a nurse.

“I'm Doctor Katheryn Tate. It’s not very often I get a royal patient like yourself.” She and the nurses smiled.

I glanced between them from my laid-down position. These were the first adult humans I’d seen in over a century. I tried to speak but my voice failed, and a cracking noise coming from my throat introduced me to a fresh form of pain. The doctor had a cup of water ready, offering it to me.  
“Please, don’t try to talk. We still haven’t made entirely sure your vocal cords survived the years of... well, death.” She stated plainly, offering a small smile. I nodded weakly and brought the cup to my lips. It was only then I noticed that it was a lidded cup with a small slit, a sippy cup. I had faint annoyance at the infantile treatment in the privacy of my thoughts as I drank the water. I felt like the inferno in my esophagus had been reduced, if not erased. A few moments and a couple cups of water later and I managed to speak.

“How long... have I been here?” I whispered, to which the doctor pursed her lips.

“You’ve been unconscious at the hospital for four days. We’ve been taking good care of you. Your... mother, I believe, the Queen, brought you here on November 19th, of the year 2018.

“Mother...” I mumbled to myself. If Toriel referred to her as my mother there may be hope for salvaging a relationship with my long lost family.

“She was taken home yesterday. She stayed by your bedside for three days without sleeping so we ordered her to go home and rest. You’re very lucky to have such a caring family. Your father and brother were here, too.”

Brother. That could only be Frisk. I wished with all my heart that the miracle that gave me a second chance could bring my true brother back, but nobody ever wins the lottery twice.

“I’m sorry for the burden I must have caused you all.” I stated evenly, my head dipping a fraction in a small bow as the old English my early 20th century upbringing gave me came to the surface.

The doctor laughed and smiled kindly. “Well it’s not like we could have told the leaders of monster-kind “no”. Your parents solved the global energy crisis by introducing us to your CORE, and we have a debt to pay the monsters we imprisoned.”

I had figured they reached the surface but I didn’t know they’d be accepted into society. The devilish humans who hated all didn’t fit into the full size of their shoes this time. I let this sink in like a rock in the sea. I'm reminded of my dream, and the realization of all the pain and anguish I caused for no reason wells up inside me. I feel tears spring in my eyes as my body is racked with soundless sobbing.

There’s a rustle of clothing as the female doctor leans forward and wraps her arms around me. It wasn’t Toriel but I still found myself clinging tightly. I kept forgetting I was a child and had childish needs still. It was welcome. The kindly woman shushed me and combed my hair with her fingers. I could sense the faint discomfort from the individuals in the room, and willed myself to calm down. It was a long time before I stopped crying and longer still until she let go.

“You’re just feeling shock, this is normal. From what your mother said you’ve been dead for quite some time. You’re very tough to persist that much, you know. You must have a lot of determination.” She teased gently, settling back into her chair after a moment. I absently wondered how old I was to her. “Around nine.” I thought, figuring I’ve been that old for the better part of a century now.

“R-right. Thank you doctor.” I stated quietly, adjusting myself a bit on the hospital bed. A strange thickness about my crotch gave me pause. The doctor read my expression and the direction of my gaze, causing her to laugh airily. 

“Ah, yes, we can’t exactly hook children up to a catheter so...” She trailed off with an apologetic look as the nurses gently tugged the blanket down. A pair of pale pink feetie pajamas adorned my body. This in and of itself wasn’t offensive, I was so small I frequently wore very young child’s clothing. However the thick protrusion coming from my private parts WAS offensive. The nurses gently leaned me up and made move to unzip the pajamas from the back.

“A diaper? I’m... fully capable of going to the restroom on my own.” I stated a little hotly, feeling my face warm up.

“... Miss Toriel said the same, but we couldn’t exactly leave you without protection while you were unconscious. Also...” she cleared her throat. “Also you wet your pants before passing out which gave us cause to run some tests. Your kidneys and bladder are malfunctioning benignly, fortunately, but the muscle tissue surrounding your ureter is neurologically disconnected from your brain. This doesn't seem like it will be for forever but in all actuality you may have to have another go at toilet training. Unfortunately we have to insist on the diapers due the chronic damage to your kidneys and bladder for one and it’s hospital policy to put children with a day wetting problem in diapers, for another. It’s truly not meant to be demeaning. I’m sure you understand.”

I paled, blinking a few times as I processed the information. So these people weren’t just trying to help me out of my clothes. “W-well I can certainly change myself, at least.” I stated, trying to salvage at least some dignity in the situation. The doctor adopted an uncomfortable expression as she rubbed the back of her neck.

“Sorry. Hospital policy.” She stated. “These nurses are going to help you into a bath then get you in some clean clothes. Including a clean diaper I’m afraid. The good news is you’re not the oldest kid in our nursery ward in diapers, so don’t think this is some sort of humiliation for you.” She smiled slyly as the doctors gently peeled the feetie pajamas off me, leaving me in a thick pale pink disposable with cutesy designs.

“Besides, you look very cute Miss Dreemurr.” The Doctor said with a wink before gathering her documents and leaving me in a flustered mess.


	3. Reunion

The bath wasn’t as awkward as I thought it would be. The nurses were professional and very cognizant of my boundaries. They allowed me to clean everything but my hair, back, and face. They did insist on drying me off themselves. One nurse took my hand and walked me to the bed. On my previously unoccupied bed was a sort of pad, another thick pink diaper, and a new set of clothes. This time it was a pair of coverall shorts with a pink tee shirt. I shuddered, but considered this better than the dresses I spied some of the younger girls walking around in from the hallway. 

“I’m going to pick you up briefly, okay Chara?” The buff male doctor stated before scooping me up with a grin. He was handsome and probably in his early 20’s. I had decided I liked him so I didn’t protest when he laid me on the bed. I did redden when he gently unfolded the towel wrapped around my midsection and began sprinkling sweet smelling powder on my crotch. I brought my thighs together out of absentminded discomfort, to which he gently pried them apart and continued working. The handsome nurse lifted my legs up, sliding the diaper underneath, before lowering them and taping the thick article up snugly.

“There. Now, we have a pair of coveralls we took from the boys dressers but if you’d rather wear a dress or pajamas we can figure something out, Chara.” I realized his name tag said “Nick” on it.

“Coveralls, please.” I stated a little too quickly. He chuckled and the female nurse with him smiled.

“Coveralls it is. Please raise your hands up, Princess.” He half teased. I opened my mouth to hotly protest then realized it was an accurate title. I supposed I was the princess of this new society. I glumly complied, raising my hands up as he slid the pink tee shirt onto me. He then gently lifted me into a standing position before feeding each foot into the coveralls. It wasn’t long before a pair of quiet snaps signified the process was complete. Some socks and cute sneakers later, and I looked like a little girl ready for her first day of pre school.

Nick set me down on the floor and the other nurse, a woman named Hannah, opened the door to the hallway.

“We’re supposed to take you to the play area. I know it’s a bunch of little kid stuff but try to have fun, it’ll help you get home quicker. Also we contacted your father and he said he’s going to bring the family to see you as soon as your mother fully recovers.” Hannah stated, smiling. I felt a little tinge of worry. Frisk wouldn’t be happy to see me. They’d remember all the bad stuff, of course. Maybe the sight of me in this outfit will keep him laughing too hard to try and kill me.

“Okay.” I mumbled. I protested at Nick grabbing my hand again but he reminded me of “hospital policy” and coyly added that he was supposed to escort the princess to and from her room and he was just ensuring a successful transit. I gave him a look as I walked beside him with a slight waddle in my gait. The hallway fed into an intersection which we turned right at. It led to a large room with various toys and children playing. I certainly wasn’t the oldest but I was among them. One of the watchful staff waved at Nick and he let go of my hand before crouching down.

“Hey, ask the staff here for me if you need anything, okay? I’m supposed to be attending you first but I figured I’d grab some breakfast and let you hang out here a bit.” The nurse stayed with a smile. I gave him a rare smile in return and nodded.

“Okay. Thanks.”

“Alright princess, be good. I’ll be back later.” He stated cooly before heading out with Hannah. I bristled at the nickname, but didn’t say anything as another staff member came up to me.

“Hi Chara! I’m Miss Lucy. Im gonna be watching over you kids for a few hours. We’re about to have breakfast and you certainly look hungry.” She was bubbly, I didn’t do well with that type of personality but she seemed to mean well. I followed her to a small eating area where I was brought another sippy cup, this time of apple juice, a turkey and cheese sandwich, and a small bowl of cereal with a plastic spoon. I sat down, feeling the embarrassing cushion of fabric press against my loins as I ate quietly while the dull roar of activity occurred around me.

I finished quickly, eyeing a group of older kids playing games. Most were boys that weren’t diapered but I spied at least one girl who was. Leaving my tray on the table, I walked over with a little greeting.

“Hi, can I play?” I asked shyly, watching the heads raise and look at me warily. One boy, the ringleader, spoke up.

“Iunno, depends on whether you’re cool or not. What are you in for?” I was asked. I chuckled at the prison facsimile but answered.

“I came back from the dead.” I surprised myself with an honest answer. The looks on the faces around me changed to shock and awe, and a flood of questions greeted me.

“What? You can’t be serious!”

“What was it like?”

“How did you die?”

“How did you come back?”

I answered the questions carefully, explaining that I WAS serious and it was painful, I told them I got poisoned by a bad person and I don’t know how I came back. The kids looked riveted. The ringleader spoke up.

“...Alright, I guess you can join our group. I’m Jake. These two guys are Kyle and Evan and she’s Juliet, but everyone calls her Jules. She’s my sister.” He stated with a toothy grin.

“I’m Chara, nice to meet you.” I sat down, hearing an audible crinkle to which Kyle and Evan, brothers probably, giggled and Jules shot me a look of sympathy over. I felt my face grow red.

“Hey don’t worry about it. You were in a coma or something, right? It’s only natural they’d make you wear them for a few days.” Jake said with a smile. I felt myself smile back appreciatively.

We played games and talked for a few minutes. Just before noon I heard a gasp of alarm, followed by a rushing of feet. I turned around and saw a wall of white fur as I was scooped up and hugged tightly. Instinctively my hands clutched the fur that was wrapped around me, and I buried my face against my sweet smelling mother. Toriel mumbled “Thank God, Thank God.” Over and over as she held me.

“Mom- Toriel...” I started before being cut off.

“Chara I am your mother. Nothing will ever change that.” It went exactly as I wanted it to. I felt emotion bubble up and my eyes watered again. My much smaller hands found purchase gripping the fur on Toriels shoulders, and I quietly thanked God, as well, for this. Even if it was a dream I’d wake up from. This felt so real I couldn’t stand it. I felt another hand on my back, and a small degree of reluctance coming from my mother before she pulled me away with a smile, only for me to be pulled into a tighter hug by Asgore. The king was more emotional, attached even. He apologized for things I knew through Frisks experiences. It was a few minutes before he set me down. I let go with reluctance of my own. Between the two massive monsters was him. My older brother. Frisk. He looked at me with a guarded, but happy expression. I found myself unable to meet his gaze and stared at the ground. It was because of this that I didn’t see him approach and wrap his arms around me until it was too late. I loosely hugged back, guilt stinging my eyes again.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“I know.” He responded.

The three backed off and I felt a wave of embarrassment as Toriel commented on my cute outfit.

“Honestly Chara I could never get you to wear stuff like this back then. Perhaps we’ll have to change up your wardrobe.” My mother teased.

“Hohoho. Fresh out of the hospital and you’re already getting a ration. We really missed you kiddo.” Asgore added diplomatically. I knew they were split, so I didn’t pry. Despite this, they looked so happy to see me. I imagined a fourth person standing there, a kindly monster who didn’t know how to hate until he met me. I dipped my head as the little pitter patter of tears began to sprinkle the floor near my feet.

“I’m... sorry it wasn’t him. I-it should have been him.” I stated, wiping the tears off. As usual I managed to kill the mood. Asgore wiped a tear from his eye and Toriel looked away for a moment. They both smiled patiently.

“We got one of our children back. How could we be happy for one and not the other? We’re happy you’re coming home Chara. Truly.” Toriel spoke but the other two smiled and nodded. I smiled too.

“Thank you for welcoming me into your home again. I won’t... I won’t let you down this time.” I vowed. Asgore ruffled my hair.

“You never let us down Chara. Now. Let’s go home.” Asgore stated. I wondered who’s house I would be staying at.

“Chara since Asgore is frequently busy with his work as diplomat for monster kind we agreed you’d be living with me. Is that okay?

“...Yes. I will see you whenever I can, dad.” He chuckled in response and picked me up, setting me on his shoulders. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. He did pause and shoot a glance up to me and beckoned me closer with a hand. I craned my neck to listen to him.

“Pardon me, little lady, but why are you wearing a diaper?” He inquired. My cheeks lit up. I had forgotten all about it.

“It’s... it’s hospital policy. They said I had to.” I explained with a bit of a protest. Asgore nodded sagely before commenting further.

“Well I suppose that just makes you the baby of the family. Don’t worry Chara, you look very cute in your little outfit.” He teased. I gently, very gently, punched him in the horn. The king laughed.

I was set down after a few moments and realized the room had gone quiet after my family had arrived. I guess dad was famous. Toriel grabbed my hand and began walking to the intake/outtake area. I dutifully followed along while Frisk ghosted in the back with Asgore. Nick walked around the corner and almost bumped into Toriel.

“Oh, pardon me your majesty.” He stated, smiling when his eyes met mine. “Hey Chara, leaving already?” I stated the affirmative and he frowned, kneeling and giving me a little hug. “Okay. Be good kiddo it was fun working for you these past few days. Come by anytime.” Nick smiled, ruffled my hair, and waved everyone on. I gave him a little lazy wave back as I was carted along by mom towards the car.


	4. Listen

Outtake was quick, but they explained my bladder situation to my family which made Frisk smile and Toriel ruffle my hair. The doctor said that I could keep the clothes I was given, considering it as a welcome back to life gift. Documents and contact info swapped hands, and I was being carted along to the car. Asgore waved as he split up saying they’d have dinner tonight. I smiled and waved back.

When Toriel opened the minivan door I saw an empty seat and a car seat in the back. It looked new, as if recently purchased. One of the perks of sharing your soul with others is you learned their memories. A car seat might not have existed during the First World War but when Frisk had carried my soul I had learned all he knew of the world as if it was my own. I flushed deeply as Toriel lifted me up and sat me in it. Clipping the various buckles and clasps she gave me an apologetic look. “Personally I know you don’t need this but with the political climate between monsters and humans the way it is, we can’t be seen breaking any laws. Frisk was fortunate enough to be just old enough to use the regular seat. Sorry honey.” She leaned forward and kissed my cheek before shutting the door and maneuvering around to the drivers side. Frisk sat next to me.

We rode in quiet with a little conversation every now and then. Frisk asked how I was feeling and I replied. I asked about the current affairs of the world and got a response. Monsters had integrated due to what they could offer the world, but some humans still hated anything that was different. Some politicians tried to convince the UN that monsters weren’t entitled to their own governance. Currently the kingdom of monsters was located in a forested corner of Montana, near the entrance of the underground. Some monsters stayed down there to work, such as Alphys and her team of engineers, and others preferred to stay away from humanity, such as the war veterans. I learned that Toriel visited an “old friend” every now and then and that’s why she went to the underground. She was thankful she was there for me.

“When you showed up at my door and collapsed I had thought I had gotten you back only to lose you again.” She stated with a little laugh, wiping a tear from her eye. “You continue to worry me sick young lady.” I frowned and mumbled an apology. Toriel said she was just happy I was back. She bit her lip as if something else was on her mind, but seemed to cast it away.

“At any rate we need to pick up some supplies at the store before we can return home.” Toriel stated, adding that she didn’t expect my “condition” and thus had nothing on hand that could protect me. I paled a little, realizing that my family seemed to think I couldn’t control myself. My thoughts on my diaper, I realized comically that I had wet myself without knowing it, just like at the hospital. Any protest I was about to make died immediately.

I dipped my head in embarrassment. “Y-yes mother.” I obediently replied.

“It’s okay. It’s actually pretty normal these days.” Frisk spoke up, making me remember they existed. I cast an appreciative glance their way but still frowned. It was a relatively short drive to “Wal-Mart.” We parked a good distance away from the entrance. Toriel made leave to get out of the car and then opened my door. I grew alarmed at the prospect of being paraded in front of other people, but Tori leaned in and whispered.

“I have a bit of a stronger nose than Frisk dear. I would leave you in the car with him but I don’t want you to get a rash.” I smiled shyly as she pecked me on the cheek and unbuckled me from the car seat. Toriel was always a step ahead of me. Except that one time she wasn’t. My mind drifted back to that incident with the poisonous flower as she carted me along to the entrance of the store. I gripped her hand a little tighter, lost in thought, until I realized Frisk wasn’t coming with us.

“Frisk is staying?” I inquired, breaking my train of thought.

“Yes, some humans might try to mess with the car if we don’t leave someone in there to contact Undyne or the other authorities should anything bad happen.” Toriel scooped me up and set me in the baby seat of the cart with an amused look at my immediate glare. “Come now Chara, what’s that saying you humans have? You only get to live once? Allow me to humor myself by treating you like this.” She winked at me and pushed me along. I blushed and tried not to pay attention to anyone looking my way. We went down many aisles, luckily Toriel remembered my sizes which saved me from the long process of trying on the clothing she picked out. I was distracted mostly by watching the others in the store who were “aww”ing or giggling at me. I saw Toriel fold something pink and overtly girly and set it in the cart, and only then realized that she was shopping in the toddler section. My eyes widened and I spoke up.

“Mother!” I complained, looking around the aisle. Toriel laughed quietly and rubbed the back of her neck.

“I... I am sorry my child I just... I suppose I  
let my excitement at your return cloud my judgement. It’s been so long since you or... or Asriel were young enough to treat like a young child that I guess I wanted to leap on the opportunity without thinking of your feelings. It was foolish of me.” She swallowed and reached back into the cart to begin the slow process of hanging up all the clothes. I felt an angry tug on my heart. How dare I cause her problems this soon after coming back to life? I groaned and set my face in my hands as my cheeks burned with shame.

“... No, dang it, go ahead and keep them. It’s not THAT big of a deal, I guess.” *And it’s the least I could do, all things considering. It makes the woman happy.* I thought afterwards.

Toriels face lit up happily. “Are you certain honey? It’s not too much of an inconvenience? I promise I won’t tell anyone outside of our family!” She didn’t wait for a response. I watched her put little dresses, frilly socks, skirts, onesies, pajama sets that would no doubt require help to put on and off into the bowels of the cart. She hummed happily, walking through the aisle and sticking items that had no business being in a 9 year olds wardrobe into the cart. Notable was the lack of underwear. Next we went to the baby aisle where mother picked out bottles, pacifiers, a pad for changing, sippy cups, cute booties and mittens, a few bows, and a few more normal things. I gritted my teeth, telling myself I’d speak up next time, especially if my insides had recovered fully by then. Moving into the diaper aisle, I didn’t interject when Toriel put in both day time and night time diaper cases. Both were cutesy children’s versions but that was to be expected for a 9 year olds protective undergarment. I felt my face heat up when she threw in a few pairs of diaper covers, pink yellow and white, but said nothing. A spreading warmth through my legs cut me off from my misery and reminded me of my growing need for a change. I looked down at the thick bulge between my legs. I swallowed uncomfortably as I noticed a large wet spot growing in the coverall crotch.

“M-mom.” I started, a bit of emotion welling up inside me. Toriel turned to look as she picked out a teddy bear roughly my size and noticed my leaking diaper.

“Oh dear. Let’s hurry to check out and we can get you cleaned up dear. I’m glad I picked out the thicker kind...” She mumbled, pushing me along to the check out booth. A few adults murmured sympathy at my teary eyed form. I overheard one woman state that it was always embarrassing for toddlers to leak during potty training. I sniffled back my tears and ignored the world as Toriel quickly stacked items on the conveyor. It took about 5 minutes to bag them, pay, and get to the bathroom. Mom pushed the cart through the handicap stall, barring the door behind us.

“Shush... it’s okay baby mommy is going to get you cleaned up. I promise.” She was calm and collected, and put me at ease. The tears of shame fell silently as I calmed down. I got picked up and laid across the retractable changing table, it didn’t even creak from my weight. I whimpered a little as I got stripped down to my diaper and tee shirt. “Poor baby.” I overheard Tori mumble soothingly. I threw an arm across my face to hide my vision from the shame of my adopted mother changing my diaper. I was a burden, again, to a kindly family who did me no wrong.

“I-I’m so-sorry.” I croaked out. “I can’t stop messing up. I w-wish it had been Asriel instead of m-me.” I heard a sharp inhale come from the queen and the world seemed to freeze around me. A few moments went by and Toriel took a ragged breath.

“You’ve always been wise beyond your years so I’m not going to lie to you, Chara. I do too.” Her voice cracked at the end and she went back to working, cleaning up my privates with a wet wipe. I felt my heart lurch. Of course she preferred her born son over a human she took pity on. I knew this. Why did the words still break my undeserving heart? I went quiet, figuring this really was hell, being tortured by burdening a family who was just trying to move on.

“I do too, for your sake.” She continued.

“Because I know that the pain and agony Asriel would have faced is so unbelievably dismal compared to the pain you will carry for the rest of your life. It isn’t fair to you.” She taped the thick night time diaper between my legs, sighing bitterly. “Which is part of why I’m doing all this. I saw an opportunity to show you that we truly do love you like our own because you ARE our own. After the first few months I never measured you up to Asriel, you were both simply my children as if I had birthed you myself. I want my son to come back, every single day.” She whimpered, reaching up to pin my arms by my sides, forcing me to see her crying face. “I don’t know the details nor do I know if I ever want to know but I know you carry a murderers guilt with you. I also know it’s unfounded. You would never raise your hand against Asriel so it must have been some sort of horrible accident or he died trying to save you.” She leaned closer, pressing her forehead against mine.

“Chara I did not want to do this in a public bathroom but I knew that it needed to be done eventually. You always were obstinate in your self professed undeserving of our love. I... I let you feel that way because I never nipped this in the bud. A part of my heart shut down after I realized you may have died doing something drastic to prove your worth to us or something equally unnecessary. I think I am on the mark with that, knowing you. I know you voiced your feelings to Asriel too and that he probably didn’t stop you from doing something foolish because he knew how insecure you were. This is all your father and I’s fault, not yours Chara. It’s our fault because we never sat you down and explained that while what we did initially was out of pity for a human locked in the underground, we grew to love you exactly as much as our own son. We loved your faults, your differences, your struggles, and your unique unbelievably strong love for your brother.” Tears flowed freely from both of our eyes as we stared into each other’s bare soul. My heart pounded with adrenaline from the emotional overload. Toriel took a breath before speaking in a shattered voice. “Listen to me carefully.”


	5. Deserving

“You are deserving of a second chance.”

The emotion that was building up overflowed, and I cried freely as my mother, well and truly now, hugged me tightly. I trembled, clinging to her. “Mommy.” I called out, almost experimentally, pressing my face against her chest. Toriel was quick with the response, and it sounded like a load was being taken off her shoulders as well as mine.

“I’m here baby, and I always will be. For as long as you want me to be.” We had a good cry for a few minutes until I eventually let go of her fur and she loosened her grip. She laughed a little. “Well, unfortunately we only purchased cutesy clothes as I’ve made sure to keep your regular ones clean over the years back home, so I’m afraid you’re gonna have to pick your poison since I doubt you want to go back into the store wearing just a diaper.” She stated with an apology on her lips.

I head butted her chest and surprised myself by mumbling that I’d wear whatever she wanted. Toriel mock gasped.

“Goodness me is my little Chara EMBRACING affection?” She teased, looking through the articles to pick out something extra cute, no doubt. She pulled out a light pink onesie with cute little unicorns and stars as the design. It was one of the short sleeved onesies with no legs, just a covering for the diaper. I blushed deeply but obediently raises my arms for Toriel to slide off my shirt and slide the onesie on. She laid me on my back to button it at the bottom, then put my socks and shoes back on. “Honey I know you don’t want to hear this but you look adorable. If only I could’ve gotten Asriel or Frisk to dress up like this...” She mumbled. I had learned the hard way monsters didn’t have a thing about cross dressing. Asriel frequently was made to wear dresses and cute girls clothes to events, as it was expected of fair featured boss monsters. I always teased him so I guess this was comeuppance.

We got our ducks in a row then departed. I earned a few looks and “aww”s from passing by humans on the way to the car. Toriel slid me in the car seat and buckled me in. A raised eyebrow and a small smile coming from Frisk made my cheeks burn defensively again. “I... had an accident.” I mumbled out. Frisk giggled but apologized afterwards. He calmly stated that it was going to be nice having a baby sister, to which he and Toriel laughed gently over. I fumed but mumbled that a princess didn’t deserve this type of gang attack, which brought on a new wave of good natured laughter. We rode the rest of the way home joking and laughing and for the first time in either of my lives, I felt like I belonged.

**End of Part 1 ******


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